Turkey Awards! |
The Turkey Awards are Chessiecon's own version of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest. If you need some inspiration, check out the 2015 Bulwer-Lytton contest winners!.
Dishonorable Mention - Tom Zych
Katsuhiro Aigon was a pirate and he was a good one. The best pirate captain sailing the South China Sea, in his humble opinion. There were some captains who were better navigators; some who were better in storms; at least one was a better fighter. But none---*none*---were more *feared* than he was. Every sailor in these waters dreaded to hear the "Arr!" of Aigon.
3rd Worst Place - Jan Whiteley
Svark mused in his mind (where the thoughts rattled like a single angry magenta marble in an overly large dice cup) that this would probably be his last day on what could have passed for Earth. The remarkably Earth-like atmosphere had rapidly begun to thin alarmingly – obviously the result of a major technionic break – and he had no visible means of support (such as a spacesuit with the appropriate oxygen mix) that could prolong or prevent his demise.
2nd Worst Place - Thane Tuttle
Klaxons squealed. Fingering his alarm, he confidently strode out of bed. In the mirror stood a slythy, saturnine, imperially-thin man with spikily-coiffed hair, and shining, dark, piercing eyes, which were possessed of a darkness that shone piercingly. Wait. He was staring at his Twilight poster again. His dog meowed, and he realized the neighbor's tentaclecat, T'chaql'gkr, had shimmyslimed through the bulkhead. Again. He peered at his astrowatch. It was spacetime to teleport for neutron sewer duty.
Worst Place - Eric Strong
She stands on red rusty verdant lifeless dust, muscles ruffling in Martian wind, and sky blackening the Dark Tower ahead, alone as a lone wolf. But this is just a feeling, a wrong one, because his buddy Cart'her'sson helpfully explains, "As you know, J'hon, the Diffraction Gradient protects from radiation and also Marsworms. But Cart'her, though he was a wizened old space elf, didn't dare guess that their true quest was the Multidimensional Alpha-Corona-Gamma Uncertainty Flux-Fissile Inertial Nanobot.
Jo Hogan, presenter; Eric Strong, Worst Place; Thane Tuttle, 2nd Worse; Jan Whiteley, 3rd Worst; Tom Zych, Dishonorable Mention; Beth Jenkins Chandler, presenter