The Turkey Award Winners!

3rd Worst: The ocelot-like being fingered the starship controls with its tentacles and twisted both of its eyestalks backward, bleating, "Captain, I'm detecting an unidentified flying object of unknown origin."
-Beth Chandler

2nd Worst: Long ago, in a universe far, far away, in a tiny galaxy on the leading edge of that universe's Big Bang wavefront contained nestled within the upper hind octant of a globular star cluster in the trailing tail of one of that galaxy's spiral arms, spiralling in an abberant ellipse around a star so very young that it was still spitting out raw atoms in the high end of the periodic table not to mention gamma, beta, x, and all the other rays that emit from a force so primal that even the Greek Gods refused to withstand it, there was a speck of dust.

-/amqueue

Worst Place: "UNHAND HER, VILLAIN!" Bash Hard-Peck fired the laser. PING! BANG! It expertly ricocheted and blasted the air pirate in the hand holding the passenger, then charged the pirate, wrestling him over the railing of the spaceship patio onto the planet below. "FOOL! DR. VON DEUTSCHLAND CAN'T STOP US FROM STEALING THE PROTON HYDRATOR!" the pirates remarked as they flapped away.
By Eileen Martz - with thanks to Robin Zimmerman as Science Consultant.